It was never about the pants.

So…I had a pair of goal pants.

I know, I know. I’m a spiritual goddess yogini who should be beyond such trivial things. But I’m also a human being and had a pair of “goal” pants.

These pants…

Here’s the story. I was shopping at St. V da P which is a consignment shop in Austin on South Congress. I saw some pants and was like “$4 and their cute & pinstripe, I must have them.”  I didn’t try them on, I just bought them, b/c I can be randomly impulsive with my money - more on that another time and I also hate shopping so I’m a very “lets just get it done” attitude towards it.  

Ok, so I get home with these super cute new jeans, which again, I’m a yoga leggings girl, so to have purchased jeans is a big deal for me. Anyways, I’m home trying on the jeans and I literally cannot get them over my legs.
They were like 4 sizes too small.

FUCK!

For reals, they were sooo not my size but I suddenly got it in my head that one day I would wear them. Seriously thought, I was like a size 15/16 and they were a size 7.  I hadn’t been a size 7 since 8th/9th grade.  

“Ok” I thought, “I’ve got some goal pants. I’ve never had goal pants, lets try having goal pants.” So flash forward 4 years later. Yes, 4 years. I got close a couple times, like i could pull them up and almost button them or I could button them but not breath and had to wear a flowy top to mask the muffining that was happening. But I kept them. They stayed stuffed in my closet and I would see them sometimes and just wish I could wear them, but would just keep toting them along. As if they were always on mind, they just hid in my closet.  

Wishing and hoping only gets you so far, to attain a dream takes action.  <---Click to TWEET

So I started to really do it. Not just kinda but like ok, what does it take for me to really feel healthy. I wanted to feel healthy in my body. I stopped caring about how that looked and focused on how it felt to FEEL HEALTHY.

So I did. I repaired my gut, I supported my liver and learned how to control my blood sugar and cravings. And then, steadily, my body released all the old bullshit.

After a bi-weekly weigh-in, I realized “Holy Shit, I weigh what I did in high school.” and I also realized many of my clothes no longer were fitting.

And then I saw the jeans and I put them on.

THEY FIT.  Like daaayyyuuumm...they looked good.
In fact they were the only pair of pants I owned that actually fit even some of my yoga leggings are getting ready for donation.

But here’s the thing, I put them on expecting all my dreams would suddenly come true.

As if those goal pants would magically erase any self-doubt I still had, as if those pants would make my “prince charming” knock on my door, as if those pants would make me so financially free that i could quit massaging and teaching publically and just move away and write all day without any care in the world.  

But they were just pants. I was still me, in my body.  

Losing the weight didnt change me as a person.  

I mean, yes, it taught me more mindfulness as I applied it towards what I was putting into my body.

Yes, I learned how to listen to my body and acknowledge and reward it with high prana, nutritious foods and supplements.

Yes, I learned what exercises and movement patterns were doing more harm than good.

But fitting into those jeans didn't make me perfect.  It was a surprising wake up call that I didn't expect when I hit that goal.

Which is why having a goal to make said amount of money or fit into some jeans or have some type of partner doesnt work. Once you get it, you’re still you.  Going after a goal that is not aligned with how you want to feel, will feel kinda worthless when you get it.

Those jeans represented me feeling healthy in my body. I felt healthy even before I put on the pants so the pants suddenly didnt matter.  If you focus your energy in moving towards the feeling then you achieve your goal whether the pants fit or not, whether you make the money or not, whether you’re with the partner of your dreams or not.
It’s all yoga, it’s all an inside job.

So now I want to hear from you,
When did you achieve a big goal but then realized that’s not actually what you wanted?
What feelings are you intending to create in your day to day? How do you want to feel?
If you have a goal for a tangible item or thing, what is the feeling associated with it & how can you start generating that feeling right now?

Comment below and let me know.