Dimming Your Light Dims Your Life

Do you remember that scene from Raiders of the Lost Ark, where they opened the ark and those looking at it melted? 

That scene is what I feared would happen if I started to shine my full light, to embody all that I was capable of, to be fully me.

I remember in grade school, our class was taking a test and that once you were finished, you could play outside. "Awesome", I thought and as usual, I was one of the first ones done. I turned in my stuff, got the “great job” from the teacher and out I went into the playground, only to find myself, alone, waiting for everyone else to finish. I felt bored as the playground isn't the same without your friends.

When they finally came out, I could tell they were upset that I had been out here "playing" while they were still stuck inside trying to finish their test.  And so it began, I planted the seed early on, that being myself, meant I would be alone and I would make people mad. So I starting pretending to be less; to be less talented, smart, prosperous, all of it. That way I could still be with everyone and no one would be upset with me.

As I grew up, that seed of limiting myself became a full grown and from those subconscious thoughts, I attracted a "tribe" that would reinforce my belief that being fully "on" would either make people mad OR leave me all alone.  

My light, on the other hand, didn't care about what I believed, it kept trying to get out and express itself, but my "tribe" at the time was not having it.

I would do something with minimal effort, and would be called a "know-it-all". I would find myself engaging & entertaining people in public and my friends would roll their eyes and demand I stop "showboating".

At work, I would get recognized for some achievement that I had strived for and would pride in myself. That is, until my coworkers would turn against me mumbling how I made them look bad.  

Even in my romantic life, the men I use to date would eventually confess how intimidating I am when they first met me, so I would try to be a little less, downplay my life, dim my light just a bit more.  

I would continue to try and play small so people would like me. Again, I didn't want to be isolated, uninvited, or alone so I played it down.  I didn't want to separate myself from the pack.

But I couldn't stop the longing & the need to be fully me, to be fully "on", to be me.

When you expand & shine brighter, those closest to you may feel burnt, blinded or incinerated by your new radiance. <--TWEET THIS!

Sometimes your tribe gets accustomed to your baseline behavior and when you start to express yourself more fully, when you try to level up, they can act like crabs. 

Acting like crabs refers to the phenomenon when you catch crabs and put them in a bucket they won't escape because inevitably when one starts to climb out of the bucket, the others will pull him down and not let him escape. If it keeps trying to escape they will eventually kill their own so the stay together.

Luckily, we are humans and not crabs, but it can feel like dying when you keep trying to level up and your old tribe turns against you.

This fear, that when we start to step into our full radiance, we will be all alone, is what keeps many of us living a mediocre life, but to deny yourself your full potential, is to deny your soul's purpose, your heart’s deepest longing, it is to deny your gift to the world. 

My longing to be fully expressive, to step into my true power and capabilities became too much for me to contain.  I knew I had to start owning who I was and knew that not everyone was going to like it, but that there were people out there waiting for me to step up. 

My new mantra, the new seed I am planting goes like this:
I expand in abundance, success, health & love every day, as I inspire those around me to do the same.

So what do you do if you've had the dimmer switch on low?
Start simple.

1. You start stepping up.  Maybe you don't know your true power or purpose, so you try new things, something scary, something that inspires you.  Once a day do something that scares you or pushes you out of your old zone and your old way of being.
   
   
2. You follow your bliss.  What makes you happy? What could you do all day every day and it not feel like work? I mean, it may be hard work but you love it so much, it fuels you rather than deletes you.
   
   
3. When others doubt you, question you, or put you down, know it’s because it scares them. You stepping into your brilliance only shines a light on those areas in their life where they're not stepping into their own.
   
   
4. As you start, know your happiness thermostat will go off.  This is a concept from The Big Leap by Gay Hendricks. That says, we all have a current setting on how much happiness we believe we deserve. When we go above it, we tend to do things to sabotage ourselves in order to take us out of that new level of happiness and bring us back to our original setting.  With consistent practice and recognition, you can reset your thermostat to the level of abundance, success, health and love you truly desire, but again, it takes practice.
   
   
5. If you fear that you're going to be isolated in your new radiance, all is well. You’re new vibe will attract your new tribe.  For more about this check out Kate Northrup's blog post, How to use your longing to fit in to your advantage.
   
   

​Now over to you, where have you been playing small? What is something you've wanted to do but were too afraid to try?  When did keeping your light dimmed actually bring more pain than good? Share in the comments below.  Let's create our new tribe, let's create a Radiant Life by Design!